Thursday, July 19, 2012


One day, I thought I woke up in a different universe. A couple of things were... off. It was like I quantum tunneled across the multi-verse. Don't laugh! It's a real effect! Look it up! They did an experiment with photons! My brain switched from one body to another, consciousness trading places. I know there are an infinite number of universes, but only a finite number of Marcs. For the record, not all of them are security guards. The law of probabilities say at least a couple of them have to get laid. This is all science too, because Stephen Hawking put his stamp on it!


All this heat is making the clouds re-evaporate. It's like hurricanes. They're eaten up by this Sonoran air. Doesn't even rain here because of the rain shadow effect. Regular rain, we get that from the ocean. A monsoon's different. I don't count that as rain. Rain's weather. Did you know that?

Your cycle

I just tried to destroy the restroom at work. Had to hide under my hat from a girl that was on her way in when I was on the way out. Shouldn't be too bad for her in there though. If you must know, I missed my bio rhythm. I'll have to try again in twenty minutes. It's good to know your cycle.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


So, got paid on Friday... and now it's all gone. I wouldn't last a week in Vegas. I'd be a hobo, with the mafia after me. When they catch me, I ain't digging my own grave. I have back problems. They can dig it. I never understood that digging your own grave thing. What are they gonna do, shoot you? I mean, you already have the shovel, right? Just hit 'em with it. If they shoot you, so what? It's as easy as hitting on a girl while wearing your security guard uniform.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


What's the problem some people have with bones in their chicken wings? I'm like, "So, you wouldn't rip the feathers out of a turkey with your teeth?" That's why there's so many turkeys roaming around, because people won't rip their feathers out! Well, not here, exactly, but Mt. Lemmon. And you need a license to hunt them...

Saturday, July 7, 2012


If someone ever asks you to get out of their vehicle to check the tires, don't do it! It's a long walk out of the Mojave Desert...

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Expo Journey

I went to Anime Expo in LA over the weekend and saw many pretty ladies. I managed to remain a gentleman through it all. A frightened, cowardly gentleman. Yay!