Your cycle

I just tried to destroy the restroom at work. Had to hide under my hat from a girl that was on her way in when I was on the way out. Shouldn't be too bad for her in there though. If you must know, I missed my bio rhythm. I'll have to try again in twenty minutes. It's good to know your cycle.

Payday!

So, got paid on Friday... and now it's all gone. I wouldn't last a week in Vegas. I'd be a hobo, with the mafia after me. When they catch me, I ain't digging my own grave. I have back problems. They can dig it. I never understood that digging your own grave thing. What are they gonna do, shoot you? I mean, you already have the shovel, right? Just hit 'em with it. If they shoot you, so what? It's as easy as hitting on a girl while wearing your security guard uniform.

Bones!

What's the problem some people have with bones in their chicken wings? I'm like, "So, you wouldn't rip the feathers out of a turkey with your teeth?" That's why there's so many turkeys roaming around, because people won't rip their feathers out! Well, not here, exactly, but Mt. Lemmon. And you need a license to hunt them...

All this could be yours...

Advice

If someone ever asks you to get out of their vehicle to check the tires, don't do it! It's a long walk out of the Mojave Desert...

Expo Journey

I went to Anime Expo in LA over the weekend and saw many pretty ladies. I managed to remain a gentleman through it all. A frightened, cowardly gentleman. Yay!

The return...

Bam! Peanut butter sandwich!