Hunting the missing link...

Got a camping trip planned... The purpose? I think I can find Bigfoot! I have sword now to battle him with too. He's in San Anchas in central Arizona, south of Prescott, terrorizing hunters!

I'm gonna challenge him in mortal combat with my Assassin's Creed sword! When I kill him, I'm gonna stuff him and sell him to Ripley's Believe it or Not... Maybe I'll just share a sandwich with him instead... maybe both.

How is this ghost hunting? Because one of us is gonna be a ghost after our picnic! Also, I'm gonna hit a few ghost towns on the way to San Anchas.

In search of the shadow people...

Damn! Money not in my account yet and low on gas. Hmmm... Toole St. maybe? The warehouse district. The shadow person I saw Super Bowl night crossed Aviation Highway and went west towards the train tracks by the Kino turnoff.

Maybe it was a cowboy ghost that Wyatt Earp killed near there. Or a hitchhiker. Homes were moved for the highway. Or maybe it was... a brain aneurysm???

Demons

I wanna open up the 9 realms of hell... or whatever... and summon the demons. The problem with demons is they don't listen to you. You'll think the ritual didn't work, go home, and they'll start messing with you later, give you nightmares and stuff. I wonder if reverse psychology works on them. If I tell them I don't want them to show up, maybe they will.

Maybe if I had some demon bait, some pretty young thing... female, of course. In particular, I'd like to meet Asmodeus. He seems like a cool cat. Not that he's a cat, per se. I wonder if demons get lonely. I wouldn't mind hanging out with one, playing some cards or something. Overall though, they're just too unreliable. They're always late. That's probably why they're all unemployed.

Speaking of which, if Heaven is such a great place, why does everyone have a job, and in Hell, nobody is working? Rather be unemployed in Hell than have a job in Heaven.

Pimpin' in Ghost Country

Yeaaaaah! I have a Valentine! Plus I had two fake dates yesterday! I was in a movie called "The French Key." The director told me not to eat the food, for my safety. Duh! It looked fuckin' gross! I just played with the food and entertained the ladies. I felt like a gigolo!

It was great! Maybe that's my true calling. That, and ghost hunting, of course. The connection? The movie set was reportedly haunted. Hmmm....

If I was more handsome and a tad more confident, I think I could give Casanova a real run for his money on this fine day! I got me mad points today, me thinks!

I got one!

Ever wonder where the term "to catch a cold" came from? If you have, it's good news that you're reading this, because I'm about to enlighten you.

Back in the day, they thought cold spots originated from spirits. Yeah, they were right. They also believed spirits to be the cause of many illnesses. So, obviously, catching a cold meant to catch a spirit. That means I've definitely bagged me a ghost! My legacy as an awesome ghost hunter continues to grow. Too bad the spirit I caught is preventing me from hunting others of its kind. Being sick sucks.

Zombies

On a similar topic to ghosts, I've been thinking a lot about zombies lately. More specifically, I've been considering how to make myself some zombies.

Hookworm toxoplasmosis with an accelerated rabies trait. That would be my designer zombie virus. It also floods the brain with bz type hallucinogen and flight or fight response. I could design it on Plumb Island. Maybe along with some top secret black syphilis for good measure. I could tie it all together with xenobiological agents from Lab 51, like zeta reticulan feces. That's how you make a zombie! It would definitely work!

Except for the whole reanimation thing. Well, maybe that's where the alien fecal matter comes into play. Maybe I'll put in a bio-luminescent trait from jellyfish into the virus somewhere. You know, for the holidays. Glow-in-the-dark zombies! Maybe make them bark too. You know, for a trademark, signature thing.

As long as they don't sprout a barnacle covered tentacle, all will be well.

Post Ghost Post

Not much luck last couple times out, even with a thin membrane. Did a lot of scouting though. Now I know where most of the places I need to investigate are located. Now I just need to get into them. Kinda like how it is with me and women...