Thursday, October 11, 2012

New phone!

So, I finally got a new phone. No more of that cheap Cricket crap for me. I'm in the future with iPhone power! I asked my new phone "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" It answered me the following:

"Well, since a 'woodchuck' is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in a groundhog's mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds?"

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Quantum Tunneling

Time and research has revealed the truth of it all to me. Everyone knows Disneyland is run by Bertillion aliens from the outer space of another dimension. Walt Disney was experimenting in 1950s style mind control for the CIA and its Freemason friends. The practice of homosexuality for Disney Freemasons was not the healthy kind because it involved small children, as in Mickey Mouse Club member rejects. For example, Jack Parsons, the NASA pioneer. That's what my dream meant. I need to join the Mickey Mouse Club... or NASA.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Adventure or dream...

So, there I was, at Disneyland! The happiest place on Earth! Then, I realize something... This place is a little too happy. A lot of people are wearing red shirts, all over the place. Red shirts on men, more men, women with other women. I have a strange feeling about this. Maybe it's the red shirts that say "get your Disney fast pass here" with an arrow pointing towards the crotch. Maybe it's all the rainbow colored Mickey pins. Maybe it's the red shirts with Mickey Mouse kissing another Mickey Mouse, or all the other red shirts with stuff about cuddling so hard and California Bears or "It's a gay world after all." It could be the red shirts that say "Anaheim Gay Days 2012." Any of those things could be giving me strange feelings about the situations. I only know one thing for certain, I'm here another three days, and I only packed red shirts... It's a good thing I know about quantum tunneling.