I can't sleep...

I have that feeling. I can't sleep because I'm afraid that alien hands will grab me in the dark. UFOs were crazy Tuesday night. I think they were communicating with me telepathically. I watched them do tricks in the sky from a parking deck. Creepy night. My boss said "Puff, puff, pass, move your big ass."

I saw one in the daytime too. Nothing yesterday or today. Well, I didn't look because I was too busy. Now I can't sleep. Part of me wants to find a radio tower or something to watch them, or go up to the mountains. The other part of me wants to board up the windows and doors, sleep with a knife in my small closet. Maybe I need drugs or a rubber room. Not to get better, but to hide.

Of course, asylums have ghosts and demons. Damn! Guess I know why I like booze so much. Maybe that's how I became an alcoholic. Maybe AA should stand for Aliens Anonymous. "Hi, I'm Marc and I'm an alcoholic. I need booze to sleep dreamlessly because I'm afraid that aliens will get me.

Wish I had booze tonight. I could use the sleep.

They're here!

The power went out today. It woke me up. I'm on high alert! I half-expect a giant monster or an alien craft to descend to begin the removal of our species. I won't complain.

Strange lights in the sky were photographed in Haiti recently, there was that earthquake in Japan, the Thailand tsunamis, and Katrina. Don't forget the recent tornadoes in Alabama, the Mississippi flood...

Ships three times the size of Earth, about a dozen of them, were photographed near sunspots. What kind of technology do they have if they can make something that big? This overcast weather is caused by their wake. Point being, I saw some major strangeness in the sky yesterday and last night. This weather can hide their ships too.

Praise extraterrestrial Satan! He showed us technology and was banished to Earth! God is no more than their collective gray hive mind! It's not the creator! It does have a God complex ego though. Damn bastards and their rules! Long live the rebellion! Religion, they can keep it!

They like our gold. That's why they keep taking it from Peru and Arizona. DNA cattle gold women bastards! The rebels just want our weed and good company. Maybe watch our TV. Scooby Doo reruns. Can you blame them?

North by northwest, eleven o' clock high, about 35,000 to 40,000 feet, something very large, jet black in the clouds. It was moving.

Danger!

Don't eat sodium nitrate! It causes cancer and will turn you into a ghost. Then I'd have to hunt you! It's also used in animals to give them cancer for lab tests. It keeps meat from turning gray. That's right, it's in meat! Wonder why America has more cancer than other countries? That's why! I'm gonna start buying from my local, independent grocers. Fuck the government! I don't want to become a government lab rat turned into a ghost!

Hunting the missing link...

Got a camping trip planned... The purpose? I think I can find Bigfoot! I have sword now to battle him with too. He's in San Anchas in central Arizona, south of Prescott, terrorizing hunters!

I'm gonna challenge him in mortal combat with my Assassin's Creed sword! When I kill him, I'm gonna stuff him and sell him to Ripley's Believe it or Not... Maybe I'll just share a sandwich with him instead... maybe both.

How is this ghost hunting? Because one of us is gonna be a ghost after our picnic! Also, I'm gonna hit a few ghost towns on the way to San Anchas.

In search of the shadow people...

Damn! Money not in my account yet and low on gas. Hmmm... Toole St. maybe? The warehouse district. The shadow person I saw Super Bowl night crossed Aviation Highway and went west towards the train tracks by the Kino turnoff.

Maybe it was a cowboy ghost that Wyatt Earp killed near there. Or a hitchhiker. Homes were moved for the highway. Or maybe it was... a brain aneurysm???

Demons

I wanna open up the 9 realms of hell... or whatever... and summon the demons. The problem with demons is they don't listen to you. You'll think the ritual didn't work, go home, and they'll start messing with you later, give you nightmares and stuff. I wonder if reverse psychology works on them. If I tell them I don't want them to show up, maybe they will.

Maybe if I had some demon bait, some pretty young thing... female, of course. In particular, I'd like to meet Asmodeus. He seems like a cool cat. Not that he's a cat, per se. I wonder if demons get lonely. I wouldn't mind hanging out with one, playing some cards or something. Overall though, they're just too unreliable. They're always late. That's probably why they're all unemployed.

Speaking of which, if Heaven is such a great place, why does everyone have a job, and in Hell, nobody is working? Rather be unemployed in Hell than have a job in Heaven.

Pimpin' in Ghost Country

Yeaaaaah! I have a Valentine! Plus I had two fake dates yesterday! I was in a movie called "The French Key." The director told me not to eat the food, for my safety. Duh! It looked fuckin' gross! I just played with the food and entertained the ladies. I felt like a gigolo!

It was great! Maybe that's my true calling. That, and ghost hunting, of course. The connection? The movie set was reportedly haunted. Hmmm....

If I was more handsome and a tad more confident, I think I could give Casanova a real run for his money on this fine day! I got me mad points today, me thinks!