Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Work Ethic MUTHAFUCKA!!!

There I was, performing my patented Vulture Maneuver. That's what I call it when I'm working and I circle a kiosk where a nice looking lady's working a few times before I swoop in for the kill. I had just completed the swooping and perched myself nicely to begin my feast when someone came up to me and offered me a job as a financial adviser.

Forget the fact that I have seven credit cards and all of them have been maxed out since about a week after being issued. Pizza is important to every diet and it's not my fault they make it so expensive to have three meals a day. You see, having good judgement with money surely has nothing to do with telling others to have good judgement with money. This guy told me he liked my work ethic, and that's the important thing.

Picture me moonlighting as a financial adviser, becoming a CEO of my own company. We'll have a military contract to make flying robotic tanks and also have robot strippers. Hopefully, the robot strippers don't crush the pelvises of our clientele. CEO MUTHAFUCKA!!!

Unless it's all a scam... He's probably luring me to an investor meeting in disguise. If that's the case, I can always rob him, mess up his car, and take his tires. I do need new tires... CEO MUTHAFUCKA!!! I should make a rap song. CEO MUTHAFUCKA! CEO BITCH!

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